Month 5

January has been a very tough month for us, the hardest we have encountered so far. At the start of the month we had a truly unfortunate event whereby one of our Youth Care Workers committed suicide He was in a bad way with even worse people. He actually did this while he was on duty, upstairs where the boys live. As a direct result of this tragic event we were short-staffed due to 2 other care workers taking time off for trauma and because the boys, understandably, not wanting to return upstairs they lived with us for a week. However i will talk about that later. It was a bleak day for Tongaat Boystown. Especially considering something of this nature is devastating for our boys to go through. For many it brought back bad memories, and for those who actually saw the body- you could literally see them shell up. We took the boys to the funeral, one of our boys even managed to say a few words to thank him for everything he had done for Boystown. I was very proud of him for this, it is more than tough to talk in such an emotional setting. Tongaat Boystown also held a memorial service which provided some sense of closure for the boys. We also had the grounds blessed, this was crucial as many of the boys are spiritual. All credit to our lads, throughout the grieving process they acted commendably.

While the boys were living with us we had a lot of fun, they can eat more than humanly possible, which reminded me of me when i was their age. However we did have a few issues when it came to respect, they treated our house as if it was their own, leaving rubbish and not cleaning up after themselves. Me and alex came to the conclusion that our job at times in the same category as a traffic warden- you just cant win. Overall it was good having the boys stay with us, it reminded me of school days. Also while the boys were around at this horrible time it meant we had to be strong for them, which in a way distracted you for you yourself breaking down.

Whenever the boys return from their homes we always have one major problem, the boys have money. Money equals drugs and or alcohol. There has been a real issue with drug abuse from the start of the year while they still have money, however the real problems occur when they run out of money. Thats when the stealing and subsequently the fighting starts. These boys have a unbelivable ability to get money, ranging from begging to gambling to entrepreneurship. Also while they are high, that is when they mak bad decisions which later they regret. When the boys do run out of money and cannot acquire more, they resort to things like sniffing paint. THis can be very detrimental to their health. In fact we have had one boy admitted to hospital last week, this was drug related. He is soon to be going to rehab as his addiction is beyond control. Although Cannabis is not addictive you find that some boys cannot sleep without getting high. The biggest battle for us is that weed is actually cheaper than cigarettes out here as Kwa Zulu Natal is the perfect growing condition. There is a drug awareness programme starting next week so hopefully we can confront this ongoing and constant issue.

We had another break in last week, this one was the worst one yet simply because we were asleep in the house while it took place. Climbing the roof to clean out our kitchen, these boys are like Ocean’s Eleven. Looking back i am more than glad that we didn’t wake up as the boys involved would have been arrested and i am not out here to be making matters worse for these troubled kids. However when an event like this happens, it is hard not to pack your bags. IT is a show of blatant disrespect. You do everything for these boys and this is the thank you that you get. However it is crucial to remember that it is only one or two boys behind it and you can’t let the actions of a minority dictate how you treat the majority. At points you think that you have left your family, friends, your life to help these boys and they can do this to you. But you have to remind yourself of these boys backgrounds, some boys had to steal to survive, it is engrained into them. More than that leaving would let down the boys who do needs us and appreciate what we do here. At the end of the day i and here for all the boys, regardless of what they do i will look out for them.

On a brighter note, the boys have started school in a very good fashion. We have been fully booked with helping with homework. Also a new initiative for the illiterate and the boys not doing so well in school whereby they attend a practical college to do woodwork has been a great success. It’s great to see how enthusiastic they are about it. hopefully we can keep the ball rolling from last year and keep up the level of academic achievement.

News from South africa is very basic at the moment, it is all about AFCON. Bafana Bafana have Mali in the Quarter finals and the whole nation is behind them. The weather has been tropical, at some points too hot to sleep, we’ve been swimming almost daily. So for all you snowed in at home, dont be too gutted.

A big thank you to Diss RFC for sending over kit. THe boys were ecstatic to have kit from England. It may seem minor to you but you have made a huge difference for the boys out here. Pictures are to follow…

P.S. Zulu names come from Zulu words. In the same way as if fridges were called Jordans. The result of this is if you translate the boys names they are very funny, my favorite two being: ‘Pencil Left’ and ‘Wait-for-your-food Horse’